Got up to take my medication this morning-I take a combined alpha and beta blocker (heart medication). Back in November of last year, an echocardiogram showed that I have a low ejection fraction...the average heart fills with blood and when the muscle contracts, it pumps out 55-70% of the blood it holds, then refills and repeats. Mine is pumping 35-40%, and to make up for that, my heart is trying to beat faster. The medicine slows that down a little, so hopefully that helps. Basically, I have a weak heart muscle.
Went to walmart with my mom again. Even something as simple as going to walmart ends up being really painful. I was very close to sitting down on the floor a few times-it hurts to walk, but it hurts more to stand in one place, and if I sit and then get up, it hurts worse because my knees got used to no pressure, and now they're being expected to support me again. We were there for about 45 minutes or so and it's not as though we went across the entire store-just getting some groceries for supper. It sucks to limp, especially when I look healthy, because I get looked at. I really detest being the center of attention, and when I look like a healthy, average 17-18 year old (I'm 19, but young-looking for my age) and walk with a limp and tears in my eyes, I either get outright stares or people studiously avoiding looking. I did manage to play with a bouncy ball though-it said it was a "Super Ball" that could bounce up to 75 feet! Most bouncy balls over-advertise, so I lifted it to about head height (around 5 foot, 4 inches) and threw it at the ground. It bounced probably seven or eight feet in the air and I very quickly caught it and put it back. Most bouncy balls don't do that! Haha, definitely not false advertising there. By the time we left the store, I was near crying from pain, though.
My pain management doctor prescribed a concoction that is basically a cream made of about seven painkillers-two muscle relaxers, an anti-inflammatory, a topical anesthetic...and some others I'm forgetting. It's powerful stuff-it gets made up in a laboratory and fedexed to me. Yesterday was the first time I tried it...I had supper and slathered some on both knees around 10pm. They were less achy by around 11, but the full effect didn't hit until around midnight, when I assume the muscle relaxers kicked in. Boy, was I relaxed! My right knee actually hyperextended (the knee went backwards) when I was walking, and I didn't feel a thing...I realized it had hyperextended, but normally when that happens, I fall down or at least stop to hold onto something until the pain passes. This time I just made a mental note to keep a small bend in that leg and kept going. I definitely like that one.
I was also prescribed a medication called "Savella"...it's a combination chronic pain drug and anti-depressant, because I mentioned to the doctor that I do have occasional brushes with depression. Just brushes, and only when I actually think about my situation, and the future (for example...if I am still using this topical cream and apply for a job that wants me to take a drug test, I'll show up as having a bunch of medications in my system...in the area I live in, drug abuse is rampant, and just because I have a prescription, that doesn't mean I'm not abusing it...there's a good likelihood this will make getting a job very difficult) but still. I'm not hearing the greatest things about it, though. It seems like it's great for relieving pain, but the side effects are hard to live with. Already, from taking my first dose, I'm noticing a headache (that started about an hour after I took the medication, and that had no logical reason for being there) and really, really bad dry mouth and dehydration (which is a concern, because secondary to EDS, I have POTS, and to keep from blacking out, I need my blood pressure up-that way when it drops, it doesn't drop to an unsafe level. Dehydration increases the symptoms of POTS, the dizziness and near-fainting) again, with no logical reason. I'm going to go through my month of medication, or at least try to, but I'm not sure if it'll work or if I'll need to switch medicines.
I dislike being a burden, and so far I can still do laundry, so I keep my family in clean laundry. When I gathered it up today, I leaned over so that my back was horizontal and just dangled my arms beneath my body, clutching the clothing. It keeps my knees bent and I seem to have fewer problems with my shoulders...very possibly the difference in whether I carry it standing up or crouched over is just the placebo effect (I imagine it'll work, and it does) but right now I take what I can get, even if it's just placebo effect. After the cream kicked in, I had my dad do the load up that I was going to do, because the muscle relaxers knocked me loopy. It's a good thing I don't drink and don't plan to, because if this is what I'm like on a couple different muscle relaxers, I expect I would be possibly the most embarrassing drunk ever, and the last thing I need is a sober friend with a video camera.
Overall, better than it could have been. The weather was lovely today, I found out the cream works very well and the new medication is still a little iffy, and I worked on getting over my pill issues (I dislike swallowing pills, a lot) and did pretty well. It helps that my beginner pills for Savella are tiny. Like, really really tiny. I love them and hope that if this medicine seems to be working that I can convince my doctor to prescribe me a month's worth of the tiny pills. They're 12.5 milligrams each, and by the end of this medicine pack I'll be on 50 milligrams morning and night...it'd mean taking 8 a day, 4 in the morning and 4 in the evening, but I don't care. To me, it's worth it (or at least, if the medicine works it is).
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